Worst Jokes Ever
I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.
What's the difference between intelligence and apathy?
I don't know! I don't care!
Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"
The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."
Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"
What’s the only long-lasting thing from China?
Covid.
I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I buttfucked Scooby Doo.
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."
Me and your mom in the bed.
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.
Why did Trump go to Jeffrey's secret Island?
So he could trump that little bitch!
Why did Texas freeze to death? Because they're retarded.