Worst Jokes Ever
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
I got raped by my therapist... now I know where the name comes from!
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.
Bitches be like "Kill all men" till a black guy dies.
What do you call a priest in a room full of naked boys?
A colonoscopy.
"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.
If her age is on the clock, she gets the cock.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
What do Polish people in Poland use chop sticks for?
tweezers.
People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.
Dream tweeted, and I quote, "Babies kick pregnant women all the time, but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested."
What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.
What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.
I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.
I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.
The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"
My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.