Worst Jokes Ever
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? The infantry.
what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?
alien vs predator
What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
2,996 kill streak, boom!
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.
Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
What's an emo's favorite food?
Shot gun ammo.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, but Jill fell down and Jack came tumbling down after.
(And you thought this would be a joke.)
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.
What do you call a sneaky child molester?
Incogpedo.
"I told my black friend a joke. I told him he needs to lighten up!"
The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."