Worst Jokes Ever
How do you get more presents from Santa? You tickle his sack.
What are Michael Jackson's pronouns? "He he."
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
James Woods, starring in the newest movie: "September 11, two thousand fun."
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
Ayo, the pizza here... OH NlGGA! AHHHHH!... Augh, my ears burn!
"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.
7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!
Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?
What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?
A 797.
What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?
Yung Flung Dung.
What does a foreigner say when he comes to America?
I don't know, I don't speak foreignish...
"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."
"What type of book is it?"
"An autobiography."
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
Like this post if you think pineapple belongs on pizza.
Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?
Draggin' these balls across your face.
Can you imagine The Count from Sesame Street having sex? "1 orgasm..., 2 orgasm..., 3 orgasm..., ah ah ah!"
What does 9 and 36 add up to?
A life in prison.
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.