Worst Jokes Ever
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
Wives are like grenades. Pull the ring, and the house is gone.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
Go fuck yourself, cause I doubt anyone else will. 💅
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.
What starts with “M” and ends with “arriage”?
Miscarriage.
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.
Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.
Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.
Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"
At baseball practice...
"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"
"No, but I got two right here."