Worst Jokes Ever
What does a relationship and suicide have in common?
I always fail on committing.
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?
That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got genital warts, Soon you will, too!
I'm not racist, my best friends are black for Halloween. :)
If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.
Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Michael Jackson.
Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?
A. Rape babies.
I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.
Even Steph Curry can't hit threes from behind your hairline.
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
What do Michael Jackson and ACN have in common? They both go in little kids.
Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.
This is nothing to do with 9/11, but this is my best joke.
What do you call a Paki in a microwave?
Pting pting pting.
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!
How do parents punish their blind kids?
They re-arrange the furniture.
Why can't disabled people make jokes?
Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?
Dark humor jokes about orphans are funny because no parents are gonna be told.
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches, I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish!
Then there is a bear, he thinks if that fly drops six inches, that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish!
This huntsman also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps up, bear runs out, eats the fish. I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear.
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse, who also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps, bear runs, huntsman shoots,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket!!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile...
there’s This cat!!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches. Fish jumps up. Bear grabs the fish. Huntsman shoots the fucking bear,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE!!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat slips over him (stacks it) cat falls in the river...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet)
WALLOP... try remembering all that in A pub pissed. Xx