Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.

I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!

If you hit a child, that's child abuse.

If you hit a family member, that's abuse.

If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.

If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.

What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.

Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.

Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.

At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.

Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.

"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.

That's what Elliot Rodger did.

I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”

That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.

Shame on you Penaldo!

Why can't Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.