Worst Jokes Ever

A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."

"Then how about Karaoke?"

To which he replied, "I have two left throats."

when is rape wrong on so many levels?

inside a lift.

Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.

No, Stephen Hawking wasn't the first man to walk on the moon.

School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.

Stephen Hawking doesn't go for a stroll. He goes for a roll.

If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Steven.

Can't you read? It says, "No Hawking."

Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.

How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.

Stephen Hawking prefers rolls to slices of bread.

Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.

What types of erections do skeletons have? Boners.

People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.

My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂

Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎

Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.

In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.

What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.

What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?

In a thick Russian accent:

"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."