Worst Jokes Ever
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
I called a suicidal hotline in Iraq and they asked me if I could drive a truck.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
What is Michael Jackson's chemical? The HE-HE-lium.
What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
Why can't the USA and England play chess?
USA has no towers and England has no queen.
I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
Today I feel Qatari. Today I feel Arab. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel a migrant worker.
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”
Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”
What did the twin tower say to the other?
"I need to catch this plane."
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
I can see my future in your forehead.
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
What's the difference between a submarine and Madeline McCann?
They are both full of seamen and at the bottom of the sea.