Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had a brick, I’d throw it at you.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but I have the flu.
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
You were supposed to be born in the tree.
The sticks were your siblings.
What’s the difference between Juice WRLD and George Floyd?
Nothing, they both can’t breathe.
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
Are you my depression, because I’m falling for you?
What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.
Your hairline is so far back Sherlock couldn't solve that mystery.
This is coming from an Indian btw and I find it very racist and it all stereotypes.
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
Is laughing a problem?
Laughing at what?
I want to jump.
Jump—what?
Jump off the hook.
My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”