Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.

He sing, he dance, he he.

Why are cigarettes good for the environment?

They kill people.

Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."

How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?

Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.

Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing?

A: A knife has a point.

I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.

What do you call a house with dog hair?

A shed.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."

Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"

Are you Jeffrey Dahmer? Because I'd love you to eat me.

What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.

I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.

How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.

I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.

Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.

What store does an orphan hate?

Family Tree.

What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!