Worst Jokes Ever

What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.

My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.

I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.

I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.

The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"

My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."

What flour do you give an orphan?

Self-raising.

What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.

What do you call 6 gay men going to war?

Rainbow 6 Siege.

Hi, I'm Madison, but for short you can call me Alex.

Americans live in the U.S.A. The quiet kids live in the U.Z.I.

Why did the feminist cross the road?

To suck my dick!

Dark humor is like a dad - not everyone gets it.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

One if you throw it hard enough.

I called the rape advice line last night. Turns out it's just for victims.

How much pussy does a priest get? None.

It's not rape if you're both crying.

What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.

Q) Why did the uncle sleep with his own nephew?

A) Cuz the boy wouldn't stop talking about Donald Trump every single weekend.

I thought of telling my teachers that I am transgender so I get to wear my AirPods in class.

Why do bisexual men 👨 👩 👨 love gay men bisexual men don't love gay men 👬 👨 👨 they just wanted to suck gay men's 👬 cocks 🌭 🌭 because they 👍 👍 like their 🍨 🍨 🍦 🍦 cream filling 😋 ☺ 💕 💖 🤗 😊 😋 ☺ 💕 💖 🤗 😊 😋 ☺

You know what I hate about rape?

Keeping it a secret.