Worst Jokes Ever

If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.

I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.

Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?

A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.

The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."

What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.

What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.

People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.

Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?

No, why?

Boy are deez nuts so big.

Me: Can I get your mom's number?

Friend: Here you go:

Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.

what song did people in Hiroshima listen to?

"Here Comes the Sun."

Friend: “What's that on your arm?”

Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”

My poem, roses are red, violets are blue. I will die very soon. 🔪

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an airplane landing strip? Don't know, neither did my dad.

If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,

Try salad 🥗.

If at first you don’t succeed... then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?

A plastic surgeon. 😷

What a world we live in. Now we’re making jokes about anorexic people.

EatDatPussy445, aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason, aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland, is a pedophile, and he is in Las Vegas right now. Go, go, go, catch him!

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? She will let it go.