Worst Jokes Ever
I threw a lamp at the depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.
Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away... That is... if you throw it hard enough.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water. Jack fell down, his cock was out, and Jill gained a daughter.
Jack and Jill went up the hill.
Jack fell down, his ass was bound, and Jill continued up the hill.
Jack came back and beat Jill's back, and he got the ultimate kill.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had a brick, I’d throw it at you.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but I have the flu.
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
You were supposed to be born in the tree.
The sticks were your siblings.
What’s the difference between Juice WRLD and George Floyd?
Nothing, they both can’t breathe.
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
Are you my depression, because I’m falling for you?
What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.