Real Life jokes
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
I kick a soccer ball at someone in a wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
How do blondes play real-life Jenga?
By stacking humans.
Unknown be like: "Wah wah, I'm too scared to talk to girls in real life, so I bully random tweens I find online to make me feel better... what a shame."
Literally every movie:
"I love you." "I love you, too."
My life:
My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶
Technoblade NPC: Gets removed from Minecraft!
Technoblade: Gets removed from real life!
Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
Why do orphans like Monopoly?
To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.
Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.
Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!
Why did Technoblade die?
He couldn't respawn in real life!
YouTubers: Among Us in real life.
Bin Laden: Angry Birds in real life.
When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
Guy: Fight me on Xbox. Guy: Oh right, you don't have one *laughs*
Me: Fight me in real life. Me: Oh right, you don't have a real life. *INSERTS APPLE BOTTOM JEANS*
2021-2022
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.