Real Life

Real Life Jokes

Mom: That's why your dad left you.

Me: Why?

Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.

Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!

Mom: Your dad had a heart attack 2 weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!

(This actually did happen in real life) -_-

When you think of the word simp, you think of a girl. Girl stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is ding dong. Put them together and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.

Fancy playing rodeo sex? β€œ ok then” she said !! then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as ya sisters ass and hold on for dear life .. real life cow bow boy shit !!!

My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.

Unknown be like: Wah wah I'm too scared to talk to girls in real life so I bully random tweens I find online to make me feel better...what a shame.