Real Life

Real Life Jokes

Mom: That's why your dad left you.

Me: Why?

Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.

Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!

Mom: Your dad had a heart attack 2 weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!

(This actually did happen in real life) -_-

Fancy playing rodeo sex? “ ok then” she said !! then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as ya sisters ass and hold on for dear life .. real life cow bow boy shit !!!

My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.

Unknown be like: Wah wah I'm too scared to talk to girls in real life so I bully random tweens I find online to make me feel better...what a shame.

Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life. The creator son tried that! ( Mt friends said to post this I accept no responsibility.)

When you think of the word simp, you think of a girl. Girl stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is ding dong. Put them together and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.

Guy: Fight me on Xbox. Guy: oh right you don't have one *laughs* Me: Fight me in real life. Me: Oh right you don't have a real life. *INSERTS APPLE BOTTOM JEANS* 2021-2022

Someone: I got chickens out there vibin Me: What? oh you mean those over sized chickens that just shows an example of you in real life Someone: . . .