Worst Jokes Ever
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
I found this game, it's like flappy bird: https://terrorist.group/
What's white with black spots? A cotton field from above.
I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
My uncle can't walk straight. I think it's because he's gay.
9/11 is the biggest game of Jenga... ;)
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? The infantry.
what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?
alien vs predator
What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
2,996 kill streak, boom!
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.
Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
What's an emo's favorite food?
Shot gun ammo.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”