Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.

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  • Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

    What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?

    Two test tickles.

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  • What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?

    Icy dead people.

    Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.

    (Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?

    (Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.

    (Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!

    (Kid) Quit what?

    (Bus Driver) Living.

    (Kid) But it was a joke!

    (Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.

    (Kid) Ok.

    (Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!

    Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.

    When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"

    I said, "I shit you not."

    If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.

    Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.

    I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said, "I will fuck you up." She said, "Try me." So that's exactly what I did, and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying.

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  • I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.

    My victims still scream.

    I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!