Worst Jokes Ever

You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.

Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.

Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.

I'm Michael Sam. I'm gay.

Why did Michael Jackson die?

Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.

How do you get more presents from Santa? You tickle his sack.

What are Michael Jackson's pronouns? "He he."

New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.

Students: Damn.

Teacher: Is anyone missing?

Students: Your parents!

James Woods, starring in the newest movie: "September 11, two thousand fun."

What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?

"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."

I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.

7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!

Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?

"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."

What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?

A 797.

What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?

Yung Flung Dung.

"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."

"What type of book is it?"

"An autobiography."

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?

Draggin' these balls across your face.

What does 9 and 36 add up to?

A life in prison.

Why did Rhydon get an orphan...

Rhydon deez nuts!

What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?

They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.