Worst Jokes Ever
If I get 50 likes on this, I swear. 🦋
You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.
What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?
Michelin.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
What's long and black, the line to KFC.
What’s a lesbian’s favorite Pokemon? Squirtle.
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"the floor is lava!"
- everyone, Pompeii 79 A.D.
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
What is the difference between white people and Africans? The white people watch "The Hunger Games," the Africans live it.
Me: Hey, are your parents home?
Orphan: (crying) Stop calling here!
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
You're so skinny you never gain weight. You're so skinny you're a thin stick.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Your dad is gay, so are you.
What does LMAO mean? Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
Why can't Michael Jackson come within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead. 😁
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.