Worst Jokes Ever

I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.

Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?

Because there were only 20 of them.

I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.

Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.

What's an emo's favorite food?

Shot gun ammo.

Who’s there?

To.

To who?

No, “to whom.”

Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, but Jill fell down and Jack came tumbling down after.

(And you thought this would be a joke.)

Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?

Because they always like to come in a little behind.

I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.

"I told my black friend a joke. I told him he needs to lighten up!"

What do you call a sneaky child molester?

Incogpedo.

The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."

I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."

I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"

If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.

I got kicked out of a library today because I put a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.

I love gay people. UwU

What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?

“Hang in there!”

Arabs: WHO PUT THAT TOWER THERE... we must destroy it!