Boom

Boom jokes

War

    • A TikTok I saw: "I'm in Canada, I'm in the United States!"

    Most people: "I'm in South Korea, I'm in Nor- *boom*"

    Me: "I'm in Palestine, I'm in Is... this heaven?"

    *Insert me starting a war in the comments*

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    • Boom memes

    Crash

    • This whole string is really messed up. Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. I just heard the audio recording of the crash and it said, "HE'S ON FIRE! BOOM SHAKALAKA!"

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    • Condom

    • The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

    So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

    Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

    Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

    Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

    Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

    The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

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    • Coach

    • The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

    Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

    One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!

    He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!

    Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"

    He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.

    The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.

    "Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"

    "Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."

    The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"

    "I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."

    Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."

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    • Kid

    • When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

    Bing, bang, boom!

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    • Adam

    • Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"

    So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."

    He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"

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