I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the hamburgler’s retarded cousin? Aspergler.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?
If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!
"NORTH KOREA HAS ITS OWN NORTH KORONAVIRUS. IT STARTED THERE."
Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)
Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"
Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."
Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"
Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"
Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."
Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"
Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."
Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"
Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"
Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."
Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"
COVID-19 won't last long... it's made in China.
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
What is the difference between a feminist and a female prostitute? If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds?
They asked a bunch of kids with Down syndrome to film a documentary.
I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. 😉😏
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.
The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.
In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!
Roses are red. He shows no remorse.
Santa Claus Has joined the terrorist force.
A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"
A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"
The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
