Worst Jokes Ever

Teacher: Who here has thought about committing suicide?

Half of the class: *raises hand*

Teacher: ...

The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*

What's white and bloody?

Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.

Nobody

Literally nobody

Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?

What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.

Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?

She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.

When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.

Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?

Because he's dead.

Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"

*School shooting happens*

Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*

American student: "First time?"

My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.

Most states:

"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."

Alabama:

"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."

I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.

I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.

The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.

When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.

Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.

After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"

The teacher asks her class, "What is sex?" and Little Jonny stands up and says, "Sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl's destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?" and the teacher fainted.