Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?

One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)

A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.

I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"

A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."

I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"

Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!

He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.

Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:

11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.

What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common? They both get turned on by kids.

What is the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.

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  • How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?

    Because Paul Walker crashed into it.

    A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.

    So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."

    Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.

    I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.

    My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.

    Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.