Worst Jokes Ever

Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.

He sing, he dance, he he.

Why are cigarettes good for the environment?

They kill people.

Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."

How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?

Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.

Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing?

A: A knife has a point.

I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.

What do you call a house with dog hair?

A shed.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

Are you Jeffrey Dahmer? Because I'd love you to eat me.

What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.

How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.

I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.

Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.

I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.

What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!

Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.

ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.