Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Michael Jackson rush to Walmart?
He heard boys' pants were half off!
Why do orphans like to play GTA?
Because it's the only time they are wanted.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.
I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson on a primary school oval. 😂
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.
In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno?
Because they can't get a green card.
If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.
Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"
Me: "Nope."
Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."
Me: "You never said \"love\"".
Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"
Me: "Frick no."
What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?
Milkshake.
Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?
They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"
What's similar between a priest and McDonald's?
They both shove their meat in between 10 year old buns.
Me: I got kicked out of the library the other day.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because I put the women rights book in the fiction section.
Are you suicide? Cause I'm tryna commit to you.
I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!