Worst Jokes Ever

Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?

He wanted to be able to finger A minor.

Could a phone booth also be called a chatterbox?

Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.

So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.

What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.

Why is a ball rolling when you put it on a hill?

Because it is circle.

I got kicked out of a library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.

Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.

The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought Pillsbury was a fruit.

What part do people slit the most?

Everyone.

It's not a mistake, it's a ✨ masterpiece ✨.

Is that ass a water barrier 'cause dam[n]?

1+1=3, just add 9 months.

What's the difference between emos and 9/11?

The emos are still there, high up off the ground.

Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."

Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.

Why do animals in polar regions have thick fur? Because they don't have a barber! 🤣 🤣 🤣

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side.