Worst Jokes Ever
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth.
Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.
A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"
The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"
Knock knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting c– MOO!
I don't have a carbon footprint. I drive everywhere.
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
LEZZZZZZ GOOOOO! 69 FOLLOWERS!
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!
There are two types of people, avoid them both.
Why can’t orphans play softball?
They can’t find home.
What's the difference between school and Hell?
There is no difference.
Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!
Why does Peter Pan always fly?
'Cause he Neverlands.
Fall coming 🍁 grab you a hoodie & sum1's thick thigh baby mama to keep you warm 😌🍂
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
Sorry to take your time today for a few minutes. We are cool, but not the best.
How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.
How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.
How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.