How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!
Worst Jokes Ever
My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.
Your mama is so ugly that when she walked in the bank, they had to turn off the cameras.
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
Oh well, I.H.N.! I.H.N.!! I.H.N.!!!
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
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What is an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
I got kicked out of a library because I put a book about women's rights into the fantasy section.
I was going 80 in a school zone and the speed bump was screaming.
I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Why can’t the orphan get any of the new iPhones?
'Cause none of them have a home button.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
It took me 9.11 seconds to realize.
