Worst Jokes Ever
What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because the parents are in every episode.
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
The average stripper weighs 112 lbs.
According to the pole 💈.
Why are orphans so successful?
When they were told to go big or go home, they only had one option.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"
The dark side of kid songs:
You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
Me: *gets down on one knee*
Girlfriend: OMG, it's finally happening!
Me: *falls over*
Girlfriend: The poison is kicking in.
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
Me: *stabs vampire*
Wife: omg
Me: *beats vampire to death*
Wife: OMG
Me: What?
Wife: You're supposed to give them candy!
Me: Well, that's a sticky situation now, isn't it, Barbara?
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
Why couldn’t the orphan play baseball?
He couldn’t get to home base.
My grandpa said my generation relies too much on technology.
Then I unplugged his life support. :)