3 jokes

Homework

Lenda: Hey, can you help me with my homework, please?!

Genda: Okay, and if I do, you won't make a fuss about it!

Lenda: I'll try!

3 mins later.

Genda: THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER!

Lenda: Then what is 90 million?

Genda: WHA WHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lenda mocking her: WHA OH YEAH YOU ARE A TERRIBLE TUTOR!!!!!!!!

4 mins later.

Genda: What is the capitol of watchington?

Lenda: Uh.....Idaho!

Genda being sarcastic: Yes...it is not the capitol of watchington...BECAUSE IT IS A STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lenda: Oh, you mean Iowa!

Genda: UHHHHHHHHHHHH CUSS WORD!!!!!!!!!!

Lenda: U can't help that I'm the smart one...okay sweetie now you go be dumb and I go be smart! LATER SISTER! Oh wait, can you help me with my homework?

Genda: NO! You the smart one so you do it!

School

This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.

1. Pencils

2. Binders

3. Paper

4. Pencil sharpener.

What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?

Russian

Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:

1. USA was NEVER invaded!

2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!

3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!

4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.

5. We have more allies than you.

6. We are smaller but stronger.

7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!

Magician

There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.

Memes

Cow

A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?

Yu.

Friend

Friend 1: I HATE YOU!

Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!

Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*

Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.

All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*

Foot

What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 7 feet?

The finish line at the marathon bombing.

Tower

9/11 was a round of Clash of Clans. They knocked down two towers, not three.

Fish

There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"

Like this joke if you LOLed! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Pilot

Okay class, who can tell me who the fastest readers are?

The pilots of 9/11 went through the Twin Towers, 6 in 3 seconds.

Orgasm

Can you imagine The Count from Sesame Street having sex? "1 orgasm..., 2 orgasm..., 3 orgasm..., ah ah ah!"

Bullying

Gwen just wanted to help you with the bullying.

Tip 1. Ignore them; bullies are really just cowards.

Tip 2. Stand up for yourself; it's ok for people to also help you, but you do the same for yourself!

Tip 3. Just let them be; they're just stupid!

Love you-Iariah

Ghost

Person 1: How smart are you?

Person 2: Really smart.

Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?

Person 2: 1 ghost is left.

Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!

Bar

Three men walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked! 😅

Smile

That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...

Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.

Dog

Top ten dog breeds:

10. Dogs

9. Are

8. Beautiful

7. Animals

6. And

5. Judgement

3. Is

2. Cruel

1. Dachshund