3 jokes
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"
penis balls cum <3
I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 7 feet?
The finish line at the marathon bombing.
Naughty little Ariana Grande needs to be fucked like the whore that she is. Join this chat to see if you agree.
This is for the people who love her body and want to fuck her.
Read the directions.
1. Type how she makes you feel.
2. Type how you would fuck her.
3. Any type of sex is aloud.
4. Remember to send pics as well.
5. Enjoy.
Joke page for people of all ages. If you want. Please make jokes about her. Enjoy.
A man told his love interest she looked beautiful.
And then his love interest told him she had loads of things to tell him.
And after 3 minutes, she told him he looked fat, ugly, disgusting, creepy, and tiny.
Then the police came and arrested her for saying that.
Name the emojis, and if you do, then you get 900/900 points for knowing all the emojis! Type in the comment section.
1. 😀 What's this emoji meaning? 2. 😃 What's this emoji meaning? 3. 😚 What's this emoji meaning? 4. 😁 What's this emoji meaning? 5. 😍 What's this emoji meaning? 6. 😋 What's this emoji meaning? 7. 🧐 What's this emoji meaning? 8. 😟 What's this emoji meaning? 9. 😳 What's this emoji meaning? 10. 😟 What's this emoji meaning? 11. 😰😨 What's this emoji meaning? 12. 😏 What's this emoji meaning? 13. 😬 What's this emoji meaning? 14. 🤐😣 What's this emoji meaning? 15. 😦🥺 What's this emoji meaning?
The winner who will win will be getting 900/900 points!
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
The cow was stuck because 3 retarded piggies were blocking him.
What did the cow say to the pigs, "MOOOVE!"
Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed 3 episodes of your favorite show.
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"
"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."
The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"
The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."
"What about the boy?" the woman asked.
The doctor said, "Denephew."
What is a threesome with 3 guys?
Gay sex and a witness.
Yo mama so fat, One Punch Man had to punch 3 times.
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus?
It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.
My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week.
He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.