3 jokes

What is the definition of confusion?

Three blind lesbians in a fish market.

What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?

A clock.

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

Remember, children, when you're hungry at 3:00, cook forks for 10 minutes, ok?

Life's full of ups and downs :D <3

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

There hasn’t been 3 months of peace in this country since 2019. Jesus, take the wheel.

Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.

What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person?

About 3 years.

Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?

It was only 3/5 full.

An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."

"What is it?" she asked.

"After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.

"Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.

"For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.

"And your final wish?" the genie asked.

"I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."

Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.

There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.

What’s the difference between 3 cocks and my sister?

My sister can’t take a joke about cocks in bed.

Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."

Me: Brings in missing child.

Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.

Me: Oh, cool.

NEXT DAY

Me: Brings in 8 other kids.

Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's the difference between a joke and three cocks? You can't take a joke.

What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.

What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.