3 year olds jokes

Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."

What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?

"My bum hurts!"

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

Why did the African 3 year old cry?

He was having a midlife crisis.

3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?

Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!

What is black and white and red all over?

Answer: A newspaper.

That is what my 3-year-old told me.

I heard China aborts 25% of female babies. That's a lot of dead 3-year-old gender-affirmed girls.

My wife is pregnant with a 3-year-old, so I gave her medicine, but now she’s pregnant with a 5-year-old.

A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."

One day the teacher said, "There are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. How many are left?" The teacher calls on lil Johnny. "None," the teacher said, "no but try again." Lil Johnny says, "None, because if you shoot one the rest get scared and leave." The teacher said, "Not quite, but I like the way you think."

Lil Johnny then says, "Alright teacher, I have one for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench, one's sucking it, the other is licking it, and the last one is biting it. Which one is married?" The teacher then says, "The one sucking it, of course!" Lil Johnny then says, "No, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think!"

There's three kids: Little Drop, Little Feather, and Little Brick. Little Feather goes, "Mommy, why do you call me L'feather?" She answers, "Cuz a little feather fell over your head when you were born." L'Drop asks his mom, "Mommy, why do you call me L'drop?" She answers, "Cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born." L'brick goes, "aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn."

Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.

The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”

Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.