Yours jokes
Your forehead is so big, your entire face is on your chin.
Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
Violets are blue, roses are red.
Last night your mom was giving me head.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.
I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.
I hate double standards. If you burn a body at a crematorium, you're doing a good job. If you burn a body at home, you're destroying evidence.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.
The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.
The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.
The French salute starts with your hands in the air.
The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.