Yours jokes

Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.

What is happening? Which is better: being loved or being hated? State your answer.

Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.

Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.

Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.

Patient: What's the good news?

Doctor: I've got you flowers.

Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?

Doctor: They're for your grave.

You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.

Why did you go depressed?

Because you’re you.

The best joke in the world is me.

Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.

Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"

Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"

Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.

How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?

Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.

A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.

The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"

The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"

The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."

Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.

She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."

Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.

Your hairline goes so far back, the dinosaurs saw it before you did.

A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."

If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Two windmills were standing in a wind farm. One asked, "What's your favorite type of music?" The other one replied... "I'm a big metal fan."