Yours jokes

What did the bread say to the peanut butter? "I think your nuts."

Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.

Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... Sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.

How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your dad's cock tastes funny.

When you tell your Roblox girlfriend you’re breaking up with her, and then 10 seconds later you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.

Are your hands feeling heavy? Because I can hold them for you.

Two husbands walk into a bar.

The first one says, "My wife is an angel."

The second one says, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."

My mom said to take out the trash bags, so I did. And the next day, my mom asked, "Where are your sisters?" I said, "In line to get crushed."

My mother didn't want me to love my sister. That made me angry. But then, one day I found this quote: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Since that day, I fuck my sister hard and my MOM harder!

How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!

How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.

Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.

Guy: I don't, I see your mom.

I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"

There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"

Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."

Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."

What can you never tell an orphan?

Go home to your parents.

To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope you're happy now.

There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.

God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.