Yours jokes
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.
Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I fucked your girl.
You're gay.
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
How do you rape a girl?
By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!
All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.
Roses are red, violets are black, your mum's so fat she sold her son for 10 Big Macs.
You're cheap; no one even pays attention.
Your hairline goes so far back even Dora the Explorer couldn’t find it.
Did you know "bj" ends with "job" because if you are giving a man a blow job, it sucks? But if you’re giving it to a woman, it's called "eating out" because it’s a privilege.
So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."
So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.
Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.
Comedian: If you’re racist and you know it, clap your hands.
Guy 1 & Guy 2: 👏👏
Comedian: WTF bros!
Comedian: And one of you is black and one is white. How does that work?
Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.
I like the satisfying sounds of your butt being spanked.