Yours jokes
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"
Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?
Seek and Hide: Me.
Figure: Okay, hide and I will hide and Seek will be it.
Seek: Why do I have to be it?
Figure: Because your name says so.
In a Kahoot, and you're the Twin Tower terrorist: terrorist kill streak 2,996.
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
What kind of cow has 2 legs?
YOUR MOM!!
If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to your ego, and then jump down to your IQ.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite song?
"Touch Me (I Want Your Body)."
You're so ugly that you and Adolfo Hitler are like twins.
When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,
So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"
I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?
Wife: I want to deep throat your dick.
Husband: let’s do this.
Wife: April foogjhmgkjgyukgyukfygkutkutkygfku5t!
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"
Me: Truth or dare?
Crush: Dare.
Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.
Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.
Me: Ok, what is your phone number?
Your mama is so stupid that when she heard drinks were on the house, she grabbed a ladder.
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
Imagine there’s a funny joke here. Imagine it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you’re schizophrenic.
Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.
When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...
Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your daddy is gay, So are you!
Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?
Mom: No, that's impossible.
Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?
Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.
Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^