Yours jokes
What's worse than depression & suicide?
Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.
Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
Bully: Hey virgin!
Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.
Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Victim: Just wait nine months.
When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.
Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died...
His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...
That awkward moment you try to relate to Batman by killing your parents.
Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."
When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life
What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.
Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide
Me: Aren't they the same thing?
Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
"what's that on your wrist?"
"I'm a cutting board. duh"
Whoever took my anti-depressant pills,
I hope you're fucking happy.
A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮
B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛
Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?
Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.
Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.
Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?"
The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve viruses here."
Corona replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."