Yours jokes

Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?

Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

Knock knock. Who's there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana kick your a**!

Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.

They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.

The angel said, "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today, so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."

The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."

The Angel thanked Dolly and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, the same question.

The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever, and flushed it without saying a word.

The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."

Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode, and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?"

"Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."

Nah! You're so poor, you can't afford free stuff!

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in 'em!

I love you. You too. I love you. You have a good night. Love. Love. I love you. You and your mom, love. Love. You have the best friends. Love. You have fun. Love. Is it good? You you have to walk home from school and walk walk home from school. I have fun at home.

You're so wonderful that Wonderland booked tickets to meet you!

What's the difference between your mum and the Twin Towers?

I would smash the Twin Towers.

Halloween. The day we celebrate your face.

You're so ugly Bob the Builder cat can fix you.

Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo.

What do you do if your dick is smoking?

Get your mum to lick it.

Deku: Hey, Todoroki?

Shoto: Wht?

Deku: I just found out on the news that your dad froze to death. Do you know who did it?

Shoto: :)

Your mama is so slow, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.

You're so fat you can't see your penis when you piss.

Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

Friend B: "I was until last night."

Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

Friend B: "Your sister."

Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

What did the ball say to the other ball? "You're baller!"

Doctor: Hands husband his baby.

Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.

Husband: Then give me the one she made.

You are so hairy, Bigfoot took your picture!

Friend, you're bold and fat.

Me: Bro, go to the bathroom and look at the mirror. You will probably break it.