Yours jokes

My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.

My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.

Your forehead and your hairline must be friends, because they go way back!

I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.

But I can break yours today, hopefully.

Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.

What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?

Once they turn 18, they never come back.

You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.

Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.

Me: Truth or dare?

Crush: Dare.

Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.

Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.

Me: Ok, what is your phone number?

When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.

But you know you live alone.

You're so ugly, your class searched up Godfrey Baguma and all called out your name!

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

What would you like as your last meal?

Fried chicken. Extra crispy.

Your haircut is worse than James Charles picking a gender.

Your hairline is so far back, it makes the Giant from Clash of Clans jealous!

Your hairline is so screwed that Michael Jackson can't even moonwalk to your hairline.