Yours jokes

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."

-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.

The earth used to be flat until your mama was buried.

Your forehead is deeper than the ocean.

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

You're so fat that you cause your heart to have panic attacks.

SCP-1540 transforms in-front of a d-class:

D-class: Whoa dude, you’re a wolf!

SCP-1540: A am a were.

Your hairline is so far back, even Vegeta laughed at it!

You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.

How can you tell your best friend is gay?

His meat tastes like shit.

What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer."

The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.

Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.

What’s worse than spiders on your piano?

Craps on your organ.

What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both come while you’re asleep.

Your hairline is so big, I couldn't find the area of it on Jupiter.

You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.

Me: What has two legs and bleeds?

Friend: Um, women? Obviously?

Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.

Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.

Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏

Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭