Yours jokes

What’s cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!

Your hairline is so pushed back it looks like Will Smith slapped it back.

Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!

If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.

Yo, hairline go so far back that your dad found it before you did.

Friend: Hi!

Me: Who are you?

Friend: ...your friend?

Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.

If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.

Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?

Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?

Your forehead is so big, the earth split in half!

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it's a soap opera.

You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"

Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?

You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-

(Destroys phone cutely)

Your hairline recedes so far back that it defends your forehead.

Your hairline is so bad, not even God could save it.

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”

Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.

I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?

"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"

"Oh, that was the cat."

"We don't have a cat..."

"Oh..."

You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.