Yours jokes

Mom

    • I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.

    (Male fantasy)

    Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.

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    • Cow

    • What do you call a cow with no legs?

    Ground beef.

    What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

    Lean beef.

    What do you call a cow with 2 legs?

    Your mom.

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    • Orphan

    • When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

    "Sure."

    "What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

    "What?"

    "They both get thrown out."

    Pregnancy

    • The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."

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    • Dinner

    • What is a good night's sleep? I love it when you walk home and walk walk home from school. Was your time I had dinner night night? Dinner night, is it fun for me? I o I had dinner.

    Yours memes

    Mom

    • Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF

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    • Chicken Wing

    • I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...

    "Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."

    Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)

    Man

    • Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.

    Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."

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    • Masturbation

    • A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"

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    • Wrestler

    • There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.

    News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestler's legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.

    John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip.”

    The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip.”

    Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”

    With heavy breath, John told him, “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”

    “What???” Said the coach... “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified.”

    “I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls.”

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    • Sex

    • Son said to father, "Last night was the best you and Mom..."

    Father said, "Yeah, me, you, and your mother had sex."

    Son said, "It was fun licking her pussy."

    Father said, "I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did. Did it feel good?"

    Son said, "Yes, it was. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"

    Father said, "YES BUT without your mom, we'll suck each other's dick and lick it and bite and shove each other's dick next to each other."

    Son said, "Yeah, and if we do it again, let's have Mom and my girlfriend join next time."

    Father said, "Ok, it's time to go to bed, son."

    Son said, "Ok, love you, can you and Mom sleep with me without your clothes?"

    Father said, "Ok, but you have to promise to go to bed."

    Son said, "Ok, see you there." 💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦

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