Yours jokes

"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"

"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"

"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

Your head is so big, it looks like traffic is able to fit on it!

Your hairline is so far back, it makes the Giant from Clash of Clans jealous!

Is your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go wayyyy back?

Your mum is so fat that when she walked past the television, I missed a whole series of SpongeBob.

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

Take a step back... just like your hairline did.

Your hairline is so far back, when your forehead was playing tag, your hairline ran away real far.

Friend 1: Did you?

Depressed friend 2: I didn't!

Friend one: Swear on your life!

Depressed friend 2: I swear.

A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.

What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?

Let the mango.

Did you leave your hairline at the airplane, because it's going up?

Your hairline goes back so far, it dated Zeus.

I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"

Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.

Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!