Yours jokes

One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.

Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.

Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"

Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.

Your mamma so fat, Thanos clapped 4 times.

I encountered a milf at a bar last night. Although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy.

We were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time.

Then, she asked me flirtatiously,

"Have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"

I said, "Nope, not yet."

She drank a little more, and said, "Well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."

So she took me to her place.

She took out her keys, opens her door, turns on the light, and she yells towards upstairs,

"Mom, are you still awake?"

Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

The greatest bond you will ever have is the one with your conjoined twin.

Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."

Teacher: What's your favorite animal?

Me: Desert Eagle.

Teacher: Why?

Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.

Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.

Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.

I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."

MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.

DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.

MOM: No, you're not.

Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.

Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.

Your mama is so skinny she can dodge raindrops.

What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?

Ei-lean.

If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?

You're so full of shit that the toilet's jealous.

I feel sorry that your hairline deployed from war with your forehead.

Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.

Orphans: Going 180.