Yours jokes

When you're having a normal day at school, but then...

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"

When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.

Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.

"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."

~John F. Kennedy

Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"

Your mom and your dad.

I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."

The time is 9:11, time to put your phones on airplane mode.

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

I want your cock in my rock bottom.

Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."

What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.

You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.

Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?

1. Listening to your teacher.

2. Not having your phone/game/TV.

3. Not having nicotine.

Your hairline is still missing, even Dora can’t explore it!

You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."

What do your teacher and your friend have in common?

They will both die eventually.

Oh Sans, you're such a bonehead! Sorry if that joke was jaw-breaking! LOL.

The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."

I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"