Yours jokes
You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)
Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.
If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.
What did the blind man say on Christmas?
"I can feel your presents!"
Q. What's red and crawls up your leg?
A. A homesick abortion.
Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.
It's still printing.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.
What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?
One is a tool. The other is your mom.
How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.
Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't worry, I will be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
I like your mom naked.
I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."
He said, "What do you want?"
I said, "To be your new father."
"Really??!" the orphan said.
Me: Lol, no.
Orphan *Jumps into street*
Your forehead is so big that we may as well call it a fivehead.
You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.