Yours jokes
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?
Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!
Your hairline goes sooooo far back that dinosaurs exist on it.
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
Was your dad a pilot? Because I rate you a 9/11.
Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.
Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?
You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.
Your forehead is so big, I could land a jet plane on it.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Michael Jackson.
Your mom so fat, Thanos had to clap!
What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.
If you're a simp, just remember, it means "Suckers Idolizing Mediocre Pussy."
Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.
Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.
It's still printing.
If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.