Yours jokes
I feel sorry that your hairline deployed from war with your forehead.
Your dad's penis was chopped off at the age of 2.
Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.
Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
I hate it when that happens
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their mummy?
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
Your taste in men is like my taste in humor: dark.
Kid: Your mom!
Orphan: I don't have a mom.
Dear Hearing People,
We, deaf people, ain’t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some 💡 awareness that we can understand you 💯 meanwhile we laugh at you 🤡 We can even dance via vibration through music.
Do you know the song w lyric like this 👇 *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. L👀k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE 👻 I promise we ain’t ghosting around - Brittany Rose.
"You're the bomb."
"No, you're the bomb."
A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?
2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.
3. My foot lasts longer than your life.
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Your father.
If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.