Yours jokes

Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!

Me: Nothing, why?

Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.

Me that/every night: *sob*

Friends: Are you okay?

Me: Yeah, fine.

Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...

Cooper, your mum gay, lol.

Your forehead is too big. I can see my future when it shines.

Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.

Teacher: What's your favorite animal?

Me: Desert Eagle.

Teacher: Why?

Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.

Coworker, why is Sara so blue?

Is it because Sara wishes she had a man? coworker she always watches you with your husband together out of love. You better watch out dear, she might "saraorize" him, with her crooked teeth and ultra-thin lips.

Well, if someone ever calls you gay 🌈🏳️‍🌈, just say, "Well, at least I'm straighter than the pole your mommy dances on." 🤣🖕

2, 4, 6, 8, you're staying up too late.

2, 4, 6, 8, all I do is master bait.

How do you rape a girl?

By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!

If you read this, you lost your v card.

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.

Why did you go depressed?

Because you’re you.

Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!

Hey guys, starting tomorrow, I will put one letter of the "doin your mom" song every day. Can I finish the song?

Also, I might be in Fortnite, hehehehehe.

I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.

What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.

What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."

Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.

Son: That’s too baaaaaad!