Yours jokes

370HSSV 0773H wait, you're reading it upside down.

People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."

I know it's really, really, really, really bad.

Hey Gwen, next time you're online can you go to "son jokes".

I commented back to you and portory.

Your mama.

Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.

Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*

Dad: Babe, we need to talk.

Mom: Okay......

Dad: He's grounded.

Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.

Son: Am I getting a new daddy?

Mom: Soon honey, soon....

Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.

If you play games, go play on your sister.

If your sisert makes you 100% mad, slap your siert.

If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.

If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.

Depression jokes are wrong, stop making them; they're cruel and nasty. So stop; people are feeling like they're hated when they read your orphan jokes or depression jokes, so PLEASE stop.

Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.

An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"

The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"

You're so short that you use a ladder to reach a dime.

It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.

Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.

Patient: It runs in the family.

Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.

Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.

Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.

Doctor: Hands husband his baby.

Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.

Husband: Then give me the one she made.

Bf: Babe, do you love me?

Gf: Of course, why do you ask?

Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.

If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!

You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.