You're jokes
You're so bent and ugly that you'd make Elton John go straight!
What is the most annoying thing your parents say to you, and what is the dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you?
The most annoying thing your parents can say: "Finish your dinner, there are starving kids in Africa!" No, you can't have any dessert until you finish your dinner. (See how annoying that is!)
The dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you: "Why is your name Crayla? Why is your last name Goldburg? Is it like a gold bird!" (That is really annoying if you ask me!)
Thanks for reading this...bye!
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
Want to save 50% on your Chinese?
Just ask before you pay.
Sonic says if you're bored, go punch an orphan. I mean, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
'Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Lemme tell you a little story.
It’s night. You’re in your room, trying to sleep. But you keep hearing it—scratching. Soft at first. Like fingernails on wood. You tell yourself it’s rats, or the house settling. But it keeps going. Slow… then faster.
So finally, you get outta bed. You get on your hands and knees, put your ear to the floor. And you hear it. A voice. Whispers. Crying.
Your heart’s pounding. You grab a crowbar. You pry up the floorboards. One by one. Your sweat’s dripping into the dust. The noise gets louder.
And finally… you peel back the last plank.
And you see these eyes. Wide and terrified. And a pale little face staring up at you.
BOOOOOOO!!!!
It’s Anne Frank.
Buy KFC = 1 dead orphan in your house.
Knock knock, who's there? God.
God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!
If you're a girl, please comment.
Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.
Your forehead is so big a whole state could fit on it.
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
That's why your grandma 6 ft deep, feet!
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
A man was sitting in the restaurant and ordered a whole buffet. He is visited by an oracle. Apollo says, "If you eat that buffet, everyone you love will die."
"Up yours," the man said, "What are they going to die of, famine?"
Moments later, there was an incident that took place in the restaurant. Everyone literally died. It turned out the restaurant had a B-. I said, "Is that really a thing groaning on the hospital?"
The doctor said, "Know that is your condition, you have hepatitis B-."
"What the FU***** SH**"
Apollo is sitting in Mount Olympus, dying also in laughter.
What do you call a duck with no head?
Your mom gay.