You're jokes
What do you do when your baby starts screaming?
Use more lube.
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.
Your forehead is too big. I can see my future when it shines.
What's better than sex with your 12 year old sister?
Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother.
Dear math,
Please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you.
Thanks.
Reasons for having a shower
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
Your forehead's so big, it makes Kanye's ego small.
Balls in your jaws.
Your forehead is so big, it's a $20 taxi ride from your hairline to your eyebrows.
If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.
Biden: *falls over on steps*
I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.
Violets are blue, roses are red.
Last night your mom was giving me head.
What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?
One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"
Your forehead is so big, your entire face is on your chin.
Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.
Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."
Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."