You're jokes

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."

Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!

You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

Your forehead is so big, your entire face is on your chin.

Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."

Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."

The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

The school shooter: "I don't know."

The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."

When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

Old soviet joke.

"Who is your mother?" "Our great Soviet country." "Who is your father?" "Our dear comrade Stalin." "What's your greatest desire?" "Becoming an orphan."

"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"

"Ok."

"What town did you grow up in?"

"Oral."

Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"

Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.

Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"

A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.

The boy asks, "What gave me away?"

The man responds, "Your parents."

Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.

Your hairline is so far back, I wrote a summary about it.

Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."

My friends: "What's your dream job?"

Me: "I'm going to die young :))"

Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.

What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!

What do you call your angry French aunt?

A crossaunt.

what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?

you find the real one.

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

(People will then say "r")

Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear sir,

You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.