You're jokes
Your forehead is so big, Humpty Dumpty didn’t want to fall off!
So, this woman had a job. She wanted to hang out with her boyfriend, so she lied about having the coronavirus. Then she got out of work. Then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend. Then she said, "I lied. Now we can...you know...water...sigh...lick...sigh." Then her boss texted, "Ew and YOU'RE FIRED."
One more story: One day this teen named Alexis got kicked out of a house, then went to live with her boyfriend. Then she got pregnant and posted it all on social media.
It looks like Will Smith slapped your hairline so hard that the dinosaurs can see it now.
When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."
Your nana gay, just like you, and you're made of atoms, nerd.
Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.
Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?
A: "Oops, I got your nose!"
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
Your mum's so dumb, she thought Pornhub was a corn hub!
What animal can't you trust with your homework?
A: A cheetah!
Have a sink in your house? Eat it.
Have a mouse in your house? Kill it.
Have a child in your house? MICROWAVE IT.
...just kidding. Now watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5tjtUFL0j4
Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.
Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.
Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.
Amber: Fine!!!!!
Are you an egg? 'Cause your jokes ain't funny.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.
You will remember reading this for the rest of your life.
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
Person: You're so ugly.
Me: You ugly.
Person: I'm not a mirror.
Me: And I'm not your reflection.
You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.