You're

You're jokes

Perfume

Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*

Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?

Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.

Mom

Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.

Ball

Your balls are growing too big that they will pop like a balloon!

Orphanage

So I went up to a crying kid and asked, "Where's your mommy?"

God, I love working at an orphanage.

Memes

Hairline

When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."

Fat

You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.

You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.

Condom

If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.

I dunno man, worked for me.

Wife

Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”

Man: “Am I dying?”

Doctor: “No, your wife is.”

Sex

Why have sex when you can perv on your neighbor's grandma!

Orphan

I said to the orphan, "Do you want me to take you to your family? Oh wait..."

Wife

If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.

Fish

I went fishing while watching porn, and my girlfriend said, "Well, you want my fish?" and I said, "But you're not in the water."

Fat

Your so fat, my sister said. I said, "So at least I ain't fatter than your momma."

Nerd

The bully: Your gay.

The nerd: You are.

The bully: Yeah.

The nerd: What, your gay?

Forehead

Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."