You're jokes
Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.
Your mom and dad abandoned you because you're too ugly.
Your life, ahhahaha!
Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"
"What?"
"They both get thrown out."
A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer. After 10 shots of vodka, the guy had, the bartender figured if he talked to him, he would tell him everything as he’s not sober.
Bartender: Hey, that’s some nice jewellery you have there. It must be expensive.
Guy: Yeah, this bracelet is made of 100% diamond. It cost me like 250 thousand dollars. What a bargain, eh?
Bartender: Seems like you make a lot of money. What do you do for a living?
Guy: I take cash from the bank and don’t give it back. It takes a lot of moral courage to rob banks to provide for my family.
Bartender: What? If that’s the case, then why do you even pay for the jewellery or this beer? You’re a hypocrite, that’s what you are, justifying robbing people as a living.
Guy: Hypocrite? You’re right. I'm living with double standards to justify my actions.
(5 seconds later)
Guy: Aye, open the cash register and give me your wallet or I will blow your fucking brains out. I fucking hate hypocrites and I will not gonna be one of em!
Here's a joke: Your life decisions.
What is an orphan's least favorite show? “How I Met Your Mother.”
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
Your mama's so fat, she needed NASA to make her ID card!
Three drunk guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination." The first guy gave him money, and the second guy said, "Thank you." The third guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked, thinking the third drunk knew what he did. But then he asked, "What was that for?" The third guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
Your hairline looks like a car!
Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.
You're so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.
Your (DYM 29).
Bruh, your forehead is so big even Megamind has some competition!
Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."