You're jokes
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?
They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
Interviewer: Hey JFK, what’s your favorite song by Jessie J?
JFK: I er ah Bang Bang.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sister pussy taste funny
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"
Roses are red, lemons are sour, spread your legs, give me an hour!
Your mama so fat, she filled up Minecraft's block limit! lol XD
What is your favorite color?
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
If you read this, your life is a joke.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕