You're jokes
Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.
Boy, your forehead so big, I can make a launchpad on that shit!
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
Orphan: Can I come over?
Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.
Your hairline is like Mount Everest; it points.
Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.
"Thank you for letting me borrow your wife."
*darned autocorrect*
"Thank you for letting me borrow your wi-fi"
You're so ugly that you made Hitler commit suicide.
If you’re bored, just punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Putin is so obsessed with territorial expansion, he’s even trying to annex your mama’s bedroom.
What’s the difference between jam and marmalade?
I can’t marmalade my cock into your mum’s arse.
You're so full of shit that you need a colostomy bag to clean you out.
Your taste in men is like my taste in humor: dark.
What do you and Quasimodo have in common?
You're both hideously ugly and hide in the dark.
Why are hurricanes like women? Because they come into your life, take nearly everything, and leave.
Hi. My name's Stephen Hawking. What's your disability?
Your momma so slutty, she masturbates with the Calgary Tower.
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*