You're jokes

Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.

Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.

Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.

Your forehead is so big, explorers mistakenly thought it was Mount Everest.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.

Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?

What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.

God, you’re having a good day?

Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.

Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.

Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!

In a Kahoot, and you're the Twin Tower terrorist: terrorist kill streak 2,996.

You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.

What's the difference between normal sex and anal sex?

One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak.

When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."

So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?

You should always wash your sex toys. That’s why priests invented baptism.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"

You can only say "Kobe" now when you're playing flight simulator.

You're so fat, you drank an invisibility potion, and everyone could still see you!

Your mamma so fat, Thanos clapped 4 times.

Your mama is so ugly.

The Buddhist monks broke their vow of silence.