You're jokes
I wanna ram your PCIe slot.
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.
The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.
After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.
The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:
"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."
His friends laugh at the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.
After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.
The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.
The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.
The receptionist responds:
"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."
There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.
One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:
Police: "What’s you name?"
Shut Up: "Shut Up."
Police: "Where's your manners?!"
Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."
Your hairline so back that back in the day of your hairline, Burger King was called "Burger Prince."
Two hunters are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and Hunter #1 dials 911.
Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"
Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods, fell asleep."
Operator: "Check if he's/she's (not assuming genders) dead."
*Operator hears a distant gunshot*
Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"
Your momma is so fat, she can't even go skinny dipping.
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
Bully: You're gonna die.
Me: Hurry up then.
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
Everyone, take off your pride flags; it's already a new month.
You know you're high when you hold all your pineapples hostage and yell, "SpongeBob, I know you're in there!"
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Roses are red, bow down to your master, children are fast, but I am faster.
Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.
Your hairline goes so far back my history teacher was surprised.
My mom said to take out the trash bags, so I did. And the next day, my mom asked, "Where are your sisters?" I said, "In line to get crushed."
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
Your mum lolololollollollololollolololllol! Find her reboot card lmfao lolololol.
Like if your best friend is emo. *repost* or like if you have a best friend.
Man #1: Pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20.
Man #2: My son died at level 4.
Man #1: Lol, your son is a noob.