You're jokes

Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.

Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.

Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.

Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.

Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.

You: Well, your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you don't even know how to do that.

And your IQ is 5.

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.

Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?

There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

If you read this, you lost your v card.

You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!

What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.

When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?

I think that you're an accident!

They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.