You're jokes
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.
Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?
Your hairline caused the solar flare.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your daddy is gay, So are you!
Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?
Roses are red, bow down to your master, children are fast, but I am faster.
Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.
Your hairline is so far back I need binoculars to see it!
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
Your forehead is so big that it said, "To be continued."
Your hairline looks like the Batman symbol.