You're jokes
Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?
So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
What is your arm's favorite military branch? The army.
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.
All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?
A toothbrush.
Bro, your hairline is still missing. Even Dora the Explorer can't discover it!
You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.
You were supposed to be born in the tree.
The sticks were your siblings.
What is six inches, goes in your mouth, and it's fun when it vibrates? A toothbrush.
You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.
Your forehead is so big someone thought it was a billboard.
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.