You're jokes
"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."
"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"
"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."
Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.
You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.
Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.
Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
Memes
Your hairline is more bent than your gender.
When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.
Teacher: I’m gonna call your parents.
Orphan: Go on, see if they pick up.
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
Man #1: Pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20.
Man #2: My son died at level 4.
Man #1: Lol, your son is a noob.
I saw a kid crying. I asked him what's wrong, where are your parents? They paused and looked at me funny... GOD I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE.
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
People: You're ugly.
Me: Ok.
People: I hate you.
Me: Cool, IDC.
People: You're annoying.
Me: Good for me.
People: BTS is dumb.
Me: I'll give you 5 seconds to run!
Never say to an orphan, "Bye buddy, hope you find your dad!"
Gwen, if you're reading this, the link I sent is for you and your boyfriend to chat and stuff. No one shall bother you! Pinky pinky!
Btw, do you know how I am cause if do then I am related to Kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry, just chat with your boyfriend.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.
All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.