You're jokes
Ur mum homo.
Your mouth looks like it came from the commercials.
Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"
Friend #2: "Apples"
Me: "I can hang myself in them."
Your mama's so fat, when she went to the movies, she sat next to everyone.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
I saw a girl crying. I asked her, "Where are your parents?" She cried as I got kicked out of the orphanage.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
Roses are red, violets are blue. You belong in a zoo, but don't worry, I'll be there too. Just not in a cage, I'll be laughing at you.
What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
Your hairline is so big, it was used as a highway.
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
Pokemon: Are you a Flareon? Why?
Because you’re a sexy fox.
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
Your life can't be a joke; a joke has meaning.
You're so poor, you lick postcards for food.
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.
Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.