You're jokes
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.
Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushion.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
Your buzz cut is so bad that the bees buzz around it!
Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"
Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.
I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
2023- my dad is a cop.
1800- my dad owns your dad.
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.