You're jokes

POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."

Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.

Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.

My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"

He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.

"One man's trash is another man's treasure."

It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.

Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest

Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.

Your mom is so fat Thanos had to snap twice.

Your mom is so fat the space shuttle can see her from 10,000 miles away.

You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.

I just roast all of your chins because I don't know which is uglier.

Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.

Your hairline is so ugly it looks worse than your mom's.

Your hairline is so far back that even Hitler wouldn't shoot it.

Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!

Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.

If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.

Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?

Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?

Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!

I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.

Your sister: You're so ugly.

Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?