You're jokes
My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"
Your hairline is so far back it looks like it's been slapped up by Will Smith.
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
Bro, go work at McDonald's. Your hairline inspired their logo!
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone!
Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.
Your hairline is so far back your dad had to go find it for you.
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
Bro, your hairline is so far back not even Dora the Explorer can find it!
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.
You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!
Your hairline was sponsored as a Snap Chat Filter.
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you never turn your back on family.
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?
Your hairline is so far back, just like your dad is from you.