You're jokes
You're adopted, do you want to know why? Because you're so ugly.
What wastes your money as you earn it?
Women.
Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.
How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.
Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Balls in your jaws.
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
Doctor: You'll be at peace soon, sir.
Me: What? Am I dying?
Doctor: No, your wife is.
"My name must taste good; it's always in your mouth."
The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago, and matter cannot be created or destroyed. Therefore, we are all technically 16.8 billion years old. So, to answer your question, officer, yes, she is of age.
Your forehead is so big it can't even fit in the garage!
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
Your hairline is more bent than James Charles' gender.
Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
Being an orphan isn’t all bad.
On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.