You're jokes
If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.
Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.
Orphan: Go on then.
Me: Your family tree.
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding only half a worm.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.
Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
"You're the bomb."
"No, you're the bomb."
A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.
Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.
"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.
"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.